November 18, 2008

Dear Friend,





I feel like I always have a good week followed by a bad week. Almost as if it is impossible to have more than one great week in a row. Last week was going great. School went perfect that week, I only worked one day, i hung out with my friends every night, and my boyfriend and i didn't disagree over anything. This week has already started out pretty tough. I found out some pretty scary news, I'd rather not share. Let's just say that it is life changing and yah. My boyfriend and i have argued about the littlest things that really shouldn't matter, I have a huge project due for school this week that i thought i had a whole other week to do, and i was sick all weekend. Maybe things will start to mellow out soon, at least i hope theydo.

Last year, my best friend started doing drugs. Not just smoking pot, but using cocaine. I didn't really know how to react about it. We had been close friends for over four years when she told me about it. Her behaviors changed, our relationship changed, her whole persona changed. It really upset me to see her like this. I sat her down many times throughout the year and had heart to heart conversations with he. We would cry and we would laugh, bt Ineverdid get through to her. The last conversation that we had I told her that she needed to reprioritize her life and really see what is important to her and who cares about her. Bascically, she told me to F**K off and that was that. This definately was not a bonding moment over a tragedy, but it definately could have been if things went differently. I wonder sometimes how she is doing and if her lifestyle is still the same.

My dad was in jail for eight years of my life. They were years when a dad could really be nice to have. He missed my life through middle school and got out at the beginning of my last year of high school. It was tough sometimes. I always wanted someone to give my date a tough time when he showed up to take me out. Or to be there at homecoming and at all of my basketball and soccer games. He would always write me letters, but i never would respond because of all the anger i had. The way that i dealt with it was by writing letters to him of how i felt, but never sending them. I would have a huge drawer full of random letters that i would write everytime that i missed him or was mad at him. The letters definately helped to get things off of my chest. But now that i look back i chold have just sent them, because i know that it hurt him not recieving any letters back from me.

Sincerely,
Rain